Now I know how Argos keep their prices down…

They hire monkeys to write the instructions that go with their products!

Check out these little gems from the instructions to the alarm clock I just bought:

• Pull up the alarm ON/OFF switch at the back of the clock when need to alarm, whereas, to pull down.
• Touch the snooze/light button on the face of the clock, the light will be shining.
• When alarm, touch the snooze/light button, the alarm will stop for a while but will continue to alarm after 5 minutes, you can pull down the ON/OFF switch at the back of the clock for completely stopping alarm.

And in the section entitled “Special Remarks”, we are reminded to “Keep off the magnetic moist field and sun’s rays irradiation directly”.

Well, I’m glad they made that clear!

This is the science part….concentrate!

I am tired beyond all belief having finished my first full week at school this afternoon.  If I have commented on your blog over the last couple of days I can only apologise because it probably did not make much sense.  This entry is not likely to either – for more than one reason!

I marked the kids’ science papers today.  Here are some interesting scientific facts I was unaware of:

1. Tin foil burns if you put it over a candle flame
2. Ducks have six legs
3. Cows can fly
4. The reason rain isn’t salty, even though it is water that has evaporated from the salty sea, is because the clouds clean it

Fascinating eh?  (We may have our work cut out for us in Science this year.)

Marked for death

So, I was driving home from school at 5:45 this afternoon, thinking how I really should update my blog and I’m pretty sure I had some vague idea about content….

Yeah, dunno what happened to that?!  But the kitten is mewing outside the door because I shut him out so I could eat without having kitten-foot-garnish on my dinner.  And I really should check his litter tray…

School is exhausting.  The kids have a whole week of tests, which means that I have a whole week of marking tests, which really is a far more rigorous process than marking their everyday work.  This is what my desk looks like at the moment, drowing under a barrage of standardised testing:

Yes, the board to the right of my desk is pink.  Yes, I like it that way.

Extra special bonus points go to the people who decided that the kids should take tests designed to be taken at the end of the year, thus containing lots of topics that the kids JUST HAVEN’T COVERED YET!!  Which probably explains why the two tests I have marked so far yielded scores of 4 and 8 out of, like, 57 or something.  According to my handy teacher’s guide, any score under 14 is unquantifiable as an actual grade.  Way to make the kids feel good about themselves.

At least I will look like a fantastic teacher when their marks increase by, like 500% in the summer!  Hehe.